There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
