There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
