I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
