I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
