i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
