OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
