My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
