Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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