"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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