so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
