Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
