yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
