So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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