we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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