Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
