You're my little dorito
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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