Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
