Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
