how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
