You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
