what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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