You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
