I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
