Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Come on in and take your pants off
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