Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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