the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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