You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
