I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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