Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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