every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
