I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
