Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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