Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
