I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
