Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
