Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
