dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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