Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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