Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
