i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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