I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just google imaged poop.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wish you could order shots online.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
