Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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