I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
