Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
