The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Boobs are out for the taking
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
