i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
