I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
