i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
