Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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