Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
